Have I become too picky?

Did some really outstanding books spoil me for the average good books? Does reading too much too fast change my view on literature?

Since my last post I've read 10 published books and none of them was worth a blogpost. There was not one bad book among them, I rated them 3 or 4 stars, and I'm sure that some time ago I would have liked them better.

I don't think I made bad choices. Outstanding books are rare. My expectations are high, maybe too high now.

Am I really asking too much?

An outstandig novel needs a good story, an intelligent plot without logical gaps, even if it is placed in a non-existent futuristic world. The plot needs enough twists and surprises to keep me turning the pages in anticipation and longing for the next opportunity to continue when I'm forced to do something else.
I want to read about well-developed characters I can relate to and with whom I can suffer, fear and/or rejoice. I want to know what's going on in their mind. I want life-like dialogues and believable behavior.

But all that is not enough. In addition I want it to be written in a unique outstanding writing style. All these above mentioned 3 and 4 star books are well-written in a way that flows smoothly, doesn't distract from the story, but isn't exceptional, just kind of unremarkable. I love writing with a wow-effect.

Who am I to judge English writing?

I'm just an avid reader. I can't name any criteria why a specific writing is better than others. There's just this feeling when the language reaches my soul, when I want to linger on a phrase because of its beauty, when feelings are expressed the way I feel, when people or situations are fully described in a few sentences...

I don't think I'm asking too much 

There are authors who have got the talent to write the way I love it.
Sometimes it's pure luck when I find one of them.
Probably they are to blame for my actual selectiveness.

This month I had the pleasure to beta-read Chris Brown's new book (I absolutely need to read his first one in this series, Dirty Tiger!)

On Goodreads I met some outstanding writers. I don't think I would have chosen their books in a book store or on amazon.

The first one I discovered was Peter Rosch. His challenging writing in never-ending complex sentences made me translate his book But I love you.

Then there's Mark Matthews. His dark novels about addiction make me experience what his characters go through.

Michael Lewis captured me with a short story. His skillful writing shows in both his untypical  love stories.

The voice of Anthony Vicino's blog made me read all his work although in a genre I don't normally read.

Will Patching is another highly talented author who combines psychological insight with thrilling action.

Looking outside the bestseller lists
All these authors and many more are not (yet) on the bestseller lists. I'm lucky (and proud) I have the pleasure knowing them and I'll continue browsing Goodreads for others.

Amidst all the average books out there, there are some jewels. We just have to find them.

Drug induced insanity

My review on goodreads

After reading The Damage Done and Milk-Blood Mark told me that he was thinking about writing a sequel.
I remember asking him wether his characters hadn't suffered enough for a lifetime. Obviously they had to suffer some more...

This week he sent me an ARC to beta read.

This sequel is as intense as the other two books, I don't know, how Mark does it, but by reading his books he makes me feel what the characters feel. It is thrilling and hurting.

This book is even more "supernatural" than the previous ones and that's probably why it doesn't feel as real. Lilly's state between life and death brings fantasy into the narrative and with that a bunch of doubts.

Nonetheless it's impossible to just close the book and stay indifferent. Just as Lilly's Mom is able to enter the minds of others, this book will intrude into every reader's mind.

I'm not sure if it's possible to fully understand the story without having read the other two.
They are all three awesome, excellent writing combined with insight in the mind and body of addicts, making me feel things I don't want anybody to experience for real.

                                                               But my favorite is still 
                                                               The Damage done, 
                                                               because it feels 
                                                               so awfully real.

Too much for one week

This was a strange week of reading: a variety of  genres (that normally aren't my favorite ones), betas and published, short stories and first drafts of chapters.

I'm feeling a bit dizzy, perhaps I should give it a break.

But that's not what I want. I  just want to get my head clear for the next challenge. And yes, this week was full of challenges.

One of these challenge is beta reading. No, I didn't give up after my first try (Beta reading). The girl I thought to be offended and hurt by my comments a few days later sent me a book she had even published to help her make changes. What a surprise!

I decided to continue beta-reading. As most of the authors offered fantasy or romance, sci-fi or history - all not my favorite genres - I decided to offer my "service" to the only one labelled horror thriller by an Indian author. I won't mention the title because it will be released in three days. I had a lot to comment about the storyline, the style, the characters...but as he said it was too late for changes. But his reaction encouraged me further. My thoughts were appreciated.

So I gave a  "romantic thriller" a chance. Keith's first novel. Very explicit sex descriptions in relationships I would never approve in reality nor do I like to find them in books. I told him so, but I tried to stay objective, pointing out where I found weeknesses, giving ideas how to improve his story without changing it to my tastes. That was indeed a challenge. And it isn't over! This novel is meant to be the first part of a trilogy and he is sending me now bits and pieces, the product of his mind storming, and appreciates my feedback. A very interesting and engaging process.

my review on goodreads

And then I found Michaels request to beta read his published romance. He wanted to know "if good enough was really good enough". I thought I had read enough sex scenes for at least a year - but it was Michael, my first guest, and I knew he at least has writing skills. And it flashed me.

This typical cover is hiding a gem nobody would expect here. Yes, there is explicit sex but not as an end in itself. It is a very well written young adult love story describing thoughts and feelings in an astoundingly real way and has true-to-life dialogues.

In this case "good enough" was indeed good enough - better than that.


Today I'll throw myself into the next beta read. Again a romance, more sex to come. Obviously that's what people write ad read. The author seems to be desperately seeking some feedback.

In between all this beta-reading I got the opportunity to read Mark Matthew's short story. He's one of my favorite authors so I had to read this story although I really don't like either zombies nor running. I don't watch zombie movies, a disadvantage, because I didn't understand all the innuendos, but I finished this very short story with goose bumps all other.






For NetGalley I'm actually reading some very different short stories.

An other challenge here!
I'm only half way through because it's so difficult to read the various slangs and accents.
The first story is from 1896, I've arrived at the 1930s now - and it is depressing.

my review on goodreads

After finishing Michaels romance I really wanted to read his other book. So I bought it for 1.11 € (For months I hadn't actually bought a book). Labelled as Science fiction, another genre I don't favor.

That was again something different. The shining world of globalization and privatization. Again very well written, very interesting characters - but an open end that left me unsatisfied.







Quite a lot for just one week - when did  find the time to read all this? I honestly don't know. Probably I'm neglecting things I should do instead.

Run your own race

My short review on goodreads

I promised to write more about this book when I wrote about opening horizons.

And this book did it in different ways.

I hate running, actually I hate all sorts of physical exhaustion. I can't understand how anybody would torture themselves to run a marathon. I can't understand how this could be fun or even addictive.

Mark is mixing in a perfect way the physical experience and the thoughts, feelings and mental experience during a run.

If I wasn't too lazy and undisciplined after reading this book I'd like to start training for long runs - but I know this won't happen.

I'm no runner but I got into the mind of a runner by reading this story. I mentally ran a marathon - entirely without physical exhaustion.

But there's more to this book than just running.
Jan was abandoned by her china-mama when she was 7 days old and adopted by Americans 10 months later.

What does it feel like being adopted? And not just adopted, but adopted from ethnical different parents, growing up in a world where everybody can see immediately that your parents have adopted you?
By reading her thoughts I get an idea of those feelings.

And Jan is a social worker in Detroit at a shelter for children in need. Of course she relates with the girls she meets there and we learn about their stories of abondonment and survival.

Jan is running her own race - on the racing track and in life.

Life as a race

Yes, this book shows that our life is like a race, like a marathon.

That reminds me of the apostle Paul who compared our life as christians with a race  in
2. Tim.,4:7-8

7 I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.

8 Now there is a crown waiting for me. It is given to those who are right with God. The Lord, who judges fairly, will give it to me on the day he returns. He will not give it only to me. He will also give it to all those who are longing for him to return.

or 1.Corinthians 9:24-26 

24 In a race all the runners run. but only one gets the prize. You know that, don't you? So run in a way that will get you the prize.

25 All who take part in the games train hard. They do it to get a crown that will not last. But we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

26 So I do not run like someone who doesn't run toward the finish line. I do not fight like a boxer who hits nothing but air.


The finish line makes the difference. What will be your prize?

Open Horizons

Reading opens my horizons.

I can't travel as much as I'd like to, I can't meet as many people as I'd like to,
Wouldn't want to experience all possible feelings and adventures.

But I can read.
I'm not talking about non-fiction here. I'm talkng about good novels from all over the world.

By reading I'm able to go wherever I want to. A good book will take me in countries I'll never visit. What I want to see and a good book will show me isn't the landscape, the beautiful mountains, oceans or cities - it's every day life.

Or it will make me understand the thoughts and feelings, the motivations and hopes, often enough much different from my own.

Good novels can give you hope or throw you in depression. They sometimes open your eyes to the truth about society, life, and God.

Reading sometimes may be an escape from reality, at times making me dream, at times making me see that things could be much worse.



This week I've been reading two very different books.

I was offered my first book written by a Pakistani, Sulaiman Dawood, White Lies.
Although his story takes place in the USA I got a glimpse of life in a muslim family.
And I could feel what the main character, a neglected and abused child is feeling. It was like seeing the world through is eyes.






Then I started reading Mark Matthews Jade Rabbit:
A totally different experience.
I can't know neither what it feels like being adopted from a different culture nor running a marathon.
But Mark has got the amazing ability to make me feel it.
I haven't finished yet. Next time I'll probably write more about it.

The dark side of literature

Why am I fascinated by dark creepy books about mental insanity, cruelty, evil, addiction, depression, suicide....that take me to places where I really don't want to go?

It's not entertaining, you can't call it a pleasure. - It's even some kind of intriguing challenge.

Torture, fear, desperation, sometimes it hurts physically, at times it is disgusting, sometimes unbearably sad. But I insist.

I'm not talking about stories with monsters, aliens, ghosts, witches or other paranormal things. I'm talking about the normal madness, books that feel all too real.

Depression is all around us, friends commit suicide, others are addicted or in recovery, we all know someone who has been in a psychiatric ward, we read about shooting sprees in schools, girls who have been kept for years in some basement ... That's the world we live in.

I want to see the whole image. I want to understand the twisted minds, the reasons behind. I don't want to close my eyes.

And of course there's the thrill, the suspense, the roller-coaster-feeling!

Here are some of the best books I've read last year from the „Dark Side“ that really stay in mind:

(The links lead to my reviews on Goodreads)

Addiction

The damage done, the most striking of all,  Milk Blood and

On the lips of children
are so extreme that I really hope that these things don't happen anywhere – but Mark Matthews has a way to make them feel real, and it's frightening.

Stray isn't as shocking as the others but very realistic.

                 And, totally different

My Dead Friend Sarah  by Peter Rosch.

Mothers and their mental insane sons:

It's a special relationship between mothers and their sons and sometimes love itself is insane.

Mother be the judge by Sally O'Brien 

The insanity inside by Theodore Andrew

House rules by Jodi Picoult 

We need to talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver 

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Insane minds

There are a lot more, but those come to my mind immediately.

Persona by Mark Horn who is a master of insane minds but this one is my favorite of his books.

The Roommate by T. Scott McLeod

Anti-Depressant  

by Clark Kline

                   

                  

Suicide

When my fire burns low
by Aslyn Foran

Escalators
by Danielle Tara Evans

The line between habit and addiction, between a depressed mood and deep depression, between exhaustion and burnout is very slim. And I know that depression is waiting for me just behind the next corner. I don't see myself as a potential killer and I don't think I'd be able to commit suicide. But the human mind is a fragile thing and I have fallen in some dark holes and I don't know where I'd be now without my faith, without Jesus who has always pulled me out of the holes.